Saturday, February 11, 2006
CHANGES
It's been one hell of a week! Just when I think that our lives are starting to level out I get blind sided...BAMMMMM! The roller coaster ride just intensifies!
Our school system has issues...major issues...it has been going down hill steadily for over 20 years. We live in a very rural area, the school is very small with 20-25 students per class, the academic offerings are very limited with very few options, other then the basics. The guidance office, one man, is a joke and doesn't help much at all. Most of the kids are ON THEIR OWN! I had always hoped that I could just get my kids 'outta there' and onto college with no major issues. I never wanted to be one of those people that lived in a town but didn't want her kids to go to the school...after all a big part of our decision to settle here after we got married was because there was a school right in our back yard...the kids wouldn't have to be bussed an hour or more away.
Baby girl has been complaining for over a year about wanting to go to a different school for many reasons, I'd always felt that most of them were social, see she's a social butterfly and likes new and exciting people around her.
This week she came home in tears...tears of fear...she went on to tell me that she was stupid...that she'd never get into college...that she'd learned nothing here since middle school and if she didn't do something very soon she'd never amount to anything. She's seen how hard things have been for her brother since entering college and he graduated with honors from good ol' GHS. Baby girl struggles to keep B's & C's. It is impossible for me to tell her that it's HER because I know how terribly our school is lacking. I now many other kids who are going thru the exact same things/ Our english department has had 8-9 different teachers in the past 4 years, One year alone there were 4 different ones. There is NO consistency throughout the school and it is very hard to RESPECT many of the teachers. Anyway....enough babbling...the bottom line is that my baby girl is LEAVING!!!
She starts at a new school on Monday, about 40 minutes away from ME! She will be living with my sister and family during the week and coming home on week-ends, vacations and summers. I know how lucky we are that this option is open to us and I know that it is the RIGHT thing...but it is so hard to think of not seeing my baby girl every morning, even if she IS grumpy, and getting a hug every night before I head to bed. Not interacting with her on a daily basis...HELL...I was supposed to have another year and a half before dealing with that.
I am doing pretty well...today...no tears for almost 48 hours. I know that the waterworks will start again as soon as I leave my sister's house. I will talk to my baby every day on the phone, probably several times in fact, and IM is a GREAT thing, I'll be visiting often too.
I may even see more of her when she's not living in my house then I did when she was...AND...maybe...just maybe...we will appreciate each other and our time together even more. Yeah...that's the attitude...I can do this...We all can!
Here's To New Beginnings!
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