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Wednesday, August 31, 2005
7 Things MEME
7 things you probably don't know about Scotty:
1. He wanted to be a fireman...or was that an arsonist, when he was a boy.
2. He's extremely sexual...I know it's hard to believe...he keeps it such a big secret.
3. He probably wore some of the same outfits as a child that I did
4. He's very devoted to his children....oh no..that's one that everyone knows
5. He's really an introvert just dying to break out.
6. He's afraid of the dark
7. He will be the next best selling author or porn star
7 things I have never done and may never do
1. I have never gone streaking...and there are thousands of people out there that really should thank me for that.
2. Lived all by myself, I went from living with my parents to living with my husband.
3. Had enough money that I never had to say NO to a frivelous purchase.
4. Had a threesome
5. Known all the words to the National Anthem - that's kinda sad
6. Been abducted by Aliens - although I do believe that I may have had some Alien Encounters in my life time.
7. Been the perfect weight for my height...or maybe it's the perfect height for my weight.hmmmmmmm
7 things I did not do this weekend
1. Sleep enough
2. Enjoy the company of my childred - they had better offers
3. Have a fight with any body - I was too damned tired
4. Keep my sanity.....I suffered from temporary insanity this week end...but I'm back NOW...for a while anyway
5. Clean my house - no one ever appreciates it anyway
6. Get a dog - my family has been begging but I WILL NOT give in....EVER!!!!!
7. Eat a great meal
7 times I have almost died or was seriously injured
1. Hit by a drunk driver this winter - we weren't hurt but it was very scarey
2. Hit a moose - Again not hurt but WHOA
3. Driving drunk...OFTEN....as a teen
4. Going with strangers when I was a teen, usually boys....often drunk ones
5. After my niece died I really thought that all the sadness around me could kill me
6. Walking a pipeline at wilson damn...it was very high, if I'd fallen I could have been killed - kids do such stupid things sometimes
7. I think that the fear of my children leaving may kill me...
7 people to tag. I'm with Scotty, I don't like to tag people, some people just don't like doing these things...Me I like them because I really have no life....
WOW this really was a hard one....especially the first part.
Monday, August 29, 2005
THANK YOU ALL
Just a quick post to say thanks to all of you wonderful bloggers for the advice and the compassion. I am at about 95% now and getting better every day. Again...you all amaze me!
Saturday, August 27, 2005
A Puddle OF Mush!
This is how I would describe myself for the past week. I have cried more this week then I have in the past 2 years. I've been doing some serious soul searching to figure out why I've been such a mess....This is what I have come up with.
As I've mentioned before...I tend to label myself with such phrases as 'In Control'....'Level headed'....'Strong', these are hard labels to live up to and I'm always very hard on myself when I fall short.
I've decided that it all started with the Moose accident, Baby Girl and friends were with me, I'm supposed to protect them and I could have killed us all, this really shook me to the core, I had NO CONTROL over this.
Then Baby girl's Mr. Perfect broke up with her...I saw this heartbreak coming and I was powerless to do anything about it. I knew that it was inevitable but I'd really hoped that it would be a mutual decision between the two of them that the 2.5 hour distance issue was just too hard to overcome. Again...I had no control.
The Big Guy is headed back to college in a week, yes, he has been driving me crazy...dirty cloths...dirty dishes...smelly room, but I have been able to see him every day, to give him a hug every night, to see that he was safe and happy. At college....I have no CONTROL!
Baby girl is headed back to high school, back to old friends, some of whom I do NOT like. The old worries will resurface. The fun week-ends at camp with all the kids will end. Again nobody asked MY permission...I am supposed to be in CONTROL!
My best friend, Good sister's life is in upheaval again, she is too overloaded with 'personal issues' to listen to me, she would be upset to hear me say this but it's true...How can I tell her that I feel like a failure for not being able to protect those I love when Her Child Is Dead...She has always told me that she thought it was her job to protect Vannah and failed...my failure is so insignificent in comparison...I can't possibly talk to her about it. On this issue I WILL retain CONTROL.
The days are getting shorter...the nights are getting cooler....Change is coming.
So...in conclusion....I guess that I have come to the conclusion that my terrible week is due to my dreadful CONTROL ISSUES!
I am feeling better today...It's been nearly 16 hours since I shed a tear!
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
A New MEME
1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? My eyes...how puffy they are for the day...I tend to ignore the rest of my body.
2. How much cash do you have on you right now?
$215 - much more then usual...just haven't made to the grocery store yet.
3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?
Best...yeah
4. Favorite plant?
Anything that strives on neglect and ignorance.
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Must be hubby...he's the only one who calls me
6. What is your main ring tone on your phone?
3 rings....nothing special
7. What shirt are you wearing?
Powder blue with a daisy on it...with a matching skirt.
8. Do you "label" yourself?
Yes...and it is sometimes very difficult to live up to the labels I put on myself. Level headed. Strong. In Control.
9. Name brand of your shoes currently wearing?
Birkenstock...my fave sandles
10. Do you prefer a bright or dark room?
Depends on the day.
11. What did you have for breakfast?
Cereal and lots and lots of coffee.
12. Since question 12 is weirdly missing, make some shit up.
The sky is blue...and grey...and black....the air is crisp and cool. yippee.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Still trying to get to sleep...just kicked hubby out for snoring and unfortuantely STILL did not snooze...a bit of insomnia going on for the past 5 days.
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?
From my daughter...tell him I love him...ohhhh.
15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners?
Never!
16. What's an expression that you say a lot?
Bite ME...It is my catch phrase at work...sometimes I mean it and sometimes I don't.
17. Who told you they loved you last?
Hubby.
18. Last furry thing you touched?
My legs...
19. How many hours a week do you work?
40 away from home....countless at home!
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
At least 10...some are very very very old.
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
This is a hard one....this year has been pretty good, 41, or at least the summer has been....yeah...I guess I'll say 41.
22. Your worst enemy?
MYSELF!
23. What is your current desk top picture?
None..I'm at work. At home there is a really bad picture of my daughter...I've got to have her change it!
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
Have you got the keys?
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to go back in time and fix all your mistakes which would you choose?
I'd choose the money. I have definitely made some mistakes in my life but they truely have made me who I am today and for the most part anyway...I'm good with that. Besides If I fixed my mistakes it may change someone elses life too...that's way too much pressure.
Monday, August 22, 2005
Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk
Hi All. We had a very eventful trip to New Hampshire, it was far toooooo short but full of excitement. First I found out that my baby girl would be a great marathon shopper, she can spend money, even her own, quicker than I can blink an eye. We hit all the outlet stores lickety split and she, as well as my niece, were in their glory (I HATE SHOPPING!). As I'd mentioned before Bre wanted to get her bellybutton pierced, sister and I teased with her all day about how much it would hurt and often they get infected to no avail...she was determined to get it done. We went to the "tattoo and body Piercing" place and talked to Julie, the Piercer their, the place was very clean and the people were friendly and pleasant. Julie took Bre upstairs, niece went to watch, within 10 minutes, they were back down stairs, Bre was joking and laughing, saying that it didn't even hurt, Julie told me she did a great job...not even a flinch. We went to the counter to pay, Bre was standing behind me, Julie in front, offering her hand to Bre to shake, telling her it was a pleasure to meet you...blah blah blah...Bre was not taking her hand, I was thinking "Come on Bre...your manners are better then that", I turned to look at her just as Julie was saying "she's going down", I grabbed her arms just in time to lower her, as gently as possible, to the floor SHE HAD PASSED OUT! Of course she was mortified, Julie said that it happens, people tend to get a huge adrenaline rush anticipating the worst and when they come down from it they pass out. Well of course we had to continue to tease her about this the rest of the day. It really scared me but I didn't let on. That night we went to Pizza Hut, their was a table of about 15 behind us, on vacation, kids and adults....all of a sudden one of the women at the table starts yelling "CALL 911" quick, chairs go flying, glasses are knocked over, kids scramble, I look and she is holding on to her husbands head and has her hand in his mouth. Sister assumes that he is choking, goes to check but he is having a seizure and one of the people with them is a nurse. Bre falls apart, she can be so cold sometimes and then other times she is the most sensitive kid around. She used to have seizures herself and maybe that is why she was so affected by it...anyway we ended up getting our dinner to go. All were wound asleep by 10...such party animals we are. Next morning we go to breakfast and as we are leaving Bre, my grown up 16 year old, spills a glass of chocolate milk in nieces lap....all we could do was laugh, Again Bre was mortified. All in All it was a good trip...nice bonding times...one we will not soon forget.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
On The Road Again
Darling Daughter and I are headed to New Hampshire to do school shopping at the outlet stores. Sister, the good one, and her daugher are joining us. The girls love to shop there, much more to choose from then here in my neck of the woods. It will take us about 5 hours to get there and we are only staying overnight but it will just be us girls and we will have lots of fun. NO HUSBANDS...NO BOYFRIENDS...NO COOKING...YIPPEE! Daughter and I were supposed to get our tattoos, however we found out that you have to be 18 in NH as well, therefore we can't...well she can't...I think that I might pass for 18, so anyway, she wants her bellybuttons pierced instead...YUCKY! I think I WON'T tell her dad until it's too late. Have a great week-end.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
OK Sandi...I'll give it a try
I don't shirk my responsibilities (lol), I will give this a try.
I got this over at Sandi's, The rules are, you comment on this post, and I will answer the following about each person:
1. I'll respond with a random thought I have about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or so we think).
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what intoxicant you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you; you must post this on your blog.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
UMMMMMMM???
Not much to write about this week. Busy at work...YUCKY! Busy at home... HOT HOT HOT, i'm not complaining mind you, I love the heat....just love it alot more on my days off. Hubby and I went to dinner last night with Sheri and her husband, had a wonderful visit, that's twice in a month....I'm loving it!
It was our anniversary, 22 years, It's hard to beleive that it's been that long. We've had our ups and downs but for the most part our relationship has always been good, comfortable and safe. I used to think that I wanted extreme passion and excessive excitement...all the time... but I've learned in the last 22 years that there are definitely more important things in life. CONTENTMENT is now my number 1 concern and I definitely have that. I can still get butterflies in my tummy when he kisses me, granted, not as often as I used to, but often enough, more importantly though...I always feel safe in his presence. I know that he loves me and the kids and that he would do everything in his power to protect us. Oh...he CAN be an ass hole, of course I NEVER am (sure), but he's MY ass hole and I love him. I don't think that I tell him that often enough.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
MY HERO!
Hubby Dear is afraid of spiders...yes that's right....I said spiders, doesn't matter how big or small, they send him running like a wussy. Keep in mind that he works in peoples basements, spider heaven, for a living. Well the other day we were on our way to camp, we'd stopped at a gas station to get gas for the lawn mower, hubby, my hero, got back into the van and felt a spider web cross his face, just pulled at it and thought nothing of it. Well I looked and he had a spider about the size of a quarter crawling on his shoulder...I said something like "ooh...ooh...ooh...spider"!, He starts to jump out of the van, without putting it in park, it starts rolling, he jumps back in just long enough to put it in park...then jumps out again and starts jumping up and down looking for the spider. It is now crawling down the side of his seat...he makes me get out of the car, go to his side, take my shoe off and kill the damned spider...all the while pointing at the stupid thing and shrieking. The best part was that a friend of ours was coming around the corner and saw the whole thing...I have a witness. It was a riot!!
I also have to sweep the spiders down from the porch...DAILY...or he won't come inside! Guess if I decide I ever want to get rid of him all I have to do is STOP doing spider patrol.
Friday, August 05, 2005
MOOSE!!!!UGH!!!!
For any of you out there who have never seen one...THIS IS A MOOSE, Pretty you may think...trust me...not so pretty at midnight, in the middle of the damned road. I hit one of these lovely creatures Wednesday night at midnight...with my NEW car, in fact the first payment hadn't even been mailed yet. We were lucky, none of us were hurt...my car, however, did not fair as well. We were headed home from the State Fair, about 80 miles away from home, I had by daughter and two of her friends with me, in fact I had ONLY gone (I HATE THE STATE FAIR) so that my baby wouldn't have to drive home after dark alone...thought I could keep her safe...once again I was wrong. I was behind the wheel, had been for about 20 minutes, when one of these beasts appeared in front of me, in fact 2 moose were in the road, if I had tried to avoid the one I hit I would have hit the second straight on and we probably would have gotten hurt. Tourists love to see these fucking things...think they are beautiful, they go in search of them...I HATE THEM!!!!
I do, however, believe that my guardian angle was watching over us and I thank her with all my heart.
Monday, August 01, 2005
15 MINUTES OF FAME....almost
I got contacted by USA TODAY last week...it seems that they were doing an article on how people were sharing "personal" information through blogging. They came across my site while surfing blogs and found it 'intriguing', I'm not sure if that was meant in a good way or a bad way, however I choose to take the word as a compliment and decided to be quite impressed with myself. Anyway, the reporter asked me a bunch of questions like; What do you do for work, what is your marital status, education etc.. Then asked more specific "blog" related question like; why did you start, who reads your blog, how long have you been doing it, what do you enjoy reading, what posts bring the most interest (funny, emotional, sad, informative), do you personally know your readers etc.. I answered all of her questions and being that I did not want to come off to 'cocky', told her that she should surf further and that she would find some far more experienced bloggers. She thanked me very much, told me she appreciated my speeded responses...but alas, when I told her that I did not want my full name used, she told me that she would be unable to "quote" me, not that I'd said anything 'quotable', but that she would use my background information. I may have missed out on my only chance for 15 MINUTES of fame....Oh Well....Back to anonimity!
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