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Read all about my life in a nutshell ~ Melody
Who I Am: Wife, mother, sister, daughter, aunt, friend, women, PERSON...  >
Book title here
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Wednesday, July 27, 2005
 This is my niece Savannah, Today would have been her 21 birthday. She was killed 3 days before her high school graduation in 2002, she had planned on attending Connecticut University to major in communications. It was no surprise to any of us that she planned on making her living with her mouth....She was always a very verbal and dramatic child, sometimes a pain in the ass too, but that's another story. She was the first 'baby' in my life, she and her mom lived close by until she was 5 and then they moved about 90 minutes away, Vannah was still a big part of our family, she would come and stay with us often. NotableQuote from Vannah: Don't be afraid of dying....be afraid of not living! She was a very insightful child, she did not have an easy life, but she almost always had a smile on her face. She loved music, her friends and her family. She hated academics but loved the social part of school...she was a true social butter fly. I believe that she would have accomplished very big things in her life and she I know that she has accomplished very big things thru her death.  This is a memorial garden that we planted in her honor at her home. It is beautiful. It is much larger now as we add new plants to it every year. In some strange way, this gives my sister, her mother, a way to continue nurturing her daugher. She has gotten alot of solice from this little piece of earth. I miss Vannah every day but it is special days like today that hurt the most. I will visit the cemetery, something I seldom do, and wish her a happy birthday. I'm sure that she will be laughing at me for being so emotional....the little brat! Auntie misses you Vanna Dawn!
Sunday, July 24, 2005
All day long my stomach was full of butterflies and my head was kinda achey with anticipation. I was so nervous, you'd think that I was about to have a sit down with the Queen of England or something...I was a wreck. I played that first hello through my head a dozen times, should I hug her, should I just stand there and look at me feet and say hi, should jump up and down and act silly....what was the appropriate way to greet someone who had once been such an important part of your life. I was so afraid that it would be like meeting a stranger, that there would be absolutely no "connection" left between us. Could I live with that? Did I want to risk it? I almost didn't go out of fear...if I didn't go I wouldn't have to face the possibility that my friend had been lost to me forever. I did go...I did hug...I did connect. The minute I saw her standing there I knew that I had not lost my childhood friend at all, it was like we had just seen each other a day ago. I felt comfortable, safe, loved. I am so glad that I didn't chicken out, take the 'safe' route and stay home. I would have loved to be able to spend some time alone with her but even with other people around I KNOW that our friendship has survived and that I will NOT let so many years pass between our 'face to face' meetings again. I'm typing this as tears run town my face, I had no idea just how much I'd missed you.....friend.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Thursday, July 14, 2005
10 years ago: Hubby had just decided to become "self employed", I had a 9 year old, a 6 year old and a full time job. I was probably exhausted, although I tend to block that from my memory. 5 years ago: First summer without my mother, Dad had decided to try the computer dating thing, after a brief fling with one of mom's best friends, and wound up with a nutcase from Florida living with him for a month or so. Sister, Terri and family had just moved back from CT, I was so glad to have her back, Son was in full "puberty" mode, driving us all crazy with mood swings, yes it happens to boys too!!! Bre was facing all the problems of pre-pubescents, someone should have told me that girls go thru it about 3 yeas prior to boys...which put my two there at exactly the SAME time!!!!! 1 year ago: Finishing up the new garage and tearing up the front yard, I'm not crazy about yard work so I was not a happy camper. Yesterday: Crazy day at work...ads...ads...ads. Hubby gone to a seminar, son off with friends, daughter and I ordered out and played on the computers. She talks to me more throught IM then in person. Today: Much quieter here today, boss is gone for a long week end, ads are finished. Hubby and kids are all at work too. The "Boyfriend" is headed up today for the week-end. Plan on actually cooking a meal tonite, shopping for the week end and just "chillin". Tomorrow: Work til at least 3, then headed to camp for a week end of fun and games with family. SIL, BIL and niece are coming, along with both my kids and of course can't leave out "boyfriend", probably half dozen others as well, but that's OK....I like activity around me!!! SUNSHINE here I come. 5 snacks I enjoy: Ice cream, Potato chips, Cheese and crackers, Veggies and dip, fruit 5 Bands I know most of the lyrics their songs: Air Supply, Lonestar, Fleetwood Mac, Garth Brooks, sound track from Grease (yes I am old too) 5 things I would do with $100,000,000: Put some in the bank....love to see a +balance in my savings account. Pay off car. Get son a better vehicle. Buy new refrigerator, hate mine! College funds. 5 locations I'd like to run away to: Hawaii. Alaska (for hubby dear). Paris. New York City (short stay). Camp...not mine, a fancy one on the lake. 5 bad habits I have: Finishing peoples sentences. Ignoring my health. Over eating. Driving too fast. Nit picking (hubby's favorite one). 5 things I like doing: Reading. Watching movies. Kayaking. Spending time with family. Blogging. 5things I would never wear: Mini skirt. Belly shirt. Spiked heels (used to). Bikini. Camoflage anything! 5 TV shows I like: Friends. Will and Grace. This Old House Classics. Sex in the City. Who's Line. 5 movies I like: Dirty Dancing, Gone with the Wind, The Breakfast Club, Hello Dolly, Beauty and the Beast 5 famous people I'd like to meet: Keeping this to those who are alive... Oprah Winfrey. Leonardo DiCaprio. John Edwards, the psychic. Robin Williams. Martha Stewart. 5biggest joys at the moment: Family (I'm pleased with them right now). SUNSHINE. I have a long week-end!!!!! Oh, no....do I really only have 3..think...think....think....oh the pressure. Co-workers (some of them). Lightening bugs...........ahhhh This was very thought provoking, once again. Had a real hard time with 5 people I'd like to meet. hmmmmm. And 5 joys...really I am a happy person, guess I'm just not quite sure WHY.
Monday, July 11, 2005
1. At what age and under what circumstances did you lose your virginity? Was it disappointing, or all you'd thought it would be? I was 18, shortly before graduation....no great love of my life or anything, just though that graduating a VIRGIN would be the worst thing in the world. VERY DISAPPOINTING!!!!! 2. What guilty pleasure do you indulge in that no one else knows about? I blog, well a few people know about it....but VERY few. 3. Do you have a birthmark, and if so, where is it and what does it look like? NOPE, unless you count ugly, disgusting, stretch marks and vericose veins. 4. What's the saddest thing you've ever seen? My sister at her daughter's funeral and I truely hope that I never have to witness anything sadder. 5. What is the WORST book you've ever read? Crime and Punishment....YUCK, Hated every single word of it. It was required reading, maybe if I tried it again now, for pleasure, it wouldn't be so bad...NOT! 6. What is the most delicious food you've ever tasted? Godiva Chocolates 7. Have you ever had or BEEN a secret admirer? Details, please. Yup, in high school I had a terrible crush on an older guy, well only a couple years older, and HOT, I sent him little trinkets and mushy cards for over a year. His mom and mine were friends, she was at my house one day telling mom about this girl who'd been sending her son cards and gifts and how excited he was every time her got one in the mail...and that he saved them all, I nearly choked to death. I did finally get a kiss from him...it was kinda disappointing...but, in his defense, nobody could have lived up to my fantasies. 8. Describe yourself in 10 words or less. I AM ME 9. If you could spend an hour with anyone, anywhere, doing anything, who would it be, where and what would you do? Why? This is a hard one, I could pick some MAN of my dreams on a tropical island or something...but I won't. I'd really like to spend one more hour with my mother...anywhere...talking. I'd like to be sure that she is proud of the person that I have become. Corney...I know.... 10. What is one thing you are ashamed to admit you know nothing about? Parenting....I only hope that I'm not screwing my kids up too badly. Maybe LOVE will be enough to ensure their happiness, security and success. Answer one, or some, or all of the questions. Of course you also have the option of answering none. But I hope you won't take that option. After all, isn't it kind of fun to just BARE your soul once in a while? Thanks Melodyann - these really made me think.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
1. Grease - Great, sappy music. Sweet summer love with a bit of innocent turmoil. Sexy "bad boys". 50's at their very best. I've often thought that I should have been around then, love the poodle skirts and saddle shoes, the jitterbug, twist, locomotion and the mashed potato. The 50's always looked like so much fun to me. 2. The Breakfast Club - Teen angst with a happy ending...who knew that detention could be so damned much fun....wasn't like that at my school. 3. St. Elmo's Fire - The Breakfast Club all grown up. More complex issues. Friendships at their best and worst. 4. Blue Lagoon - Paradise....simple....beautiufl....romantic. Nearly naked hunk. Adult situations with childlike innocence. Doesn't get any better then this. Also this was the first movie that I ever saw in a theater....I led a very sheltered life. 5. Sooner or Later - A gorgeous, if a tad femenine, Rex Smith. A boyfriend that sings to you. WOW! 6. Valley Girl - Opposites attract...corney..."totally" entertaining! 7. Boy in a Plastic Bubble - Come on, what could be better then an young John Travolta, innocent, beautiful, lots of hair....Yummy! 8. Xanadu - More Song and Dance with a side of magic and a pinch of romance.... Okay you have just a peak into my "Guilty Little Secret" I love "bad" movies. Uncomplicated! Innocent! Safe! Happy! Yeah...that's what it's all about.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
 Big week end at the ol' homestead...well actually at camp. This is hubby dear and brother Ralph doing what they do best....NOTHING. They spent the day making sure that their beers didn't get away from them...oh yeah....and asking me stupid questions whenever I got to a good smutty page in my book. How do they do that?
This is baby girl and friend....trying to decide if they dare to get on the tube..."You want me to do WHAT?" "Won't it mess up my hair...my make-up...my bathing suit???"
"Okay....Okay....I'll do it....whoopee...THIS is FUN!!!!" "Are those MY teeth?"  My darling son....in training to be a MAN just like his daddy...see...he's already go the doing "nothing" thing perfected. A good time was, once again, had by all. Lots of family....lots of friends....lots of food....lots of sunshine and most of all....lots of smiles. I loved having my kids with me. summer is way too short.
Friday, July 01, 2005
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