Thursday, August 08, 2013

My dad, who lives 4 houses down the road from me, bought a new home and moved into it and didn't bother to tell either my sister or I. WHO DOES THAT? This is a new low, even for him. He's been ass for years but this really does create an whole new low. I hate that after all these years he still has the power to hurt me so deeply. I just start to think that I've conquered it, that I really don't care any more and then he does something else that brings me to my knees. It would be so much easier if I hated him but I don't, I love him, he's my father, I have to...right?  He's now been in his house for about a week and HE has still not told me that he moved out of the house that I grew up in. I found out my 'accident'. I'm still in shock!

Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Where Has The Time Gone???

YIKES!!!! Almost 5 years have passed since my last post...unbelievable. I can't believe that much time has gone by in the blink of an eye. SO very much has changed. I now have 3 fantastic grandchildren that are the light of my life, they give me reasons to smile every day. Madyson will be 3 on Saturday, she and her brother Collin, 15 months, are my son, Dustin's children. He married Kristen nearly 5 years ago. Owen, also 15 months is my daughter Bre's little guy, she married Ryan 4 years ago. Dustin and Kristen bought a house in Orono, 75 miles from me,  he FINALLY graduated from college with a psychology degree and is working for the State of Maine IN HIS FIELD!!! Whoo hoo. Bre and Ryan bought a house in Abbot, 15 miles from me, she is the Administrative assistant to the CEO at the local hospital. I have recently changed jobs, after 25 years as an administrative assistant at Century 21, I am working as a teller at Bangor Savings Bank. I still work at the RE office a few hours a week doing websites and advertising but with the downturn in the economy and the housing market crash, things have been very slow there. Hubby still runs his own business but it's been quite slow over the past few years so he also works at the local hospital in security/maintenance. Next month will mark our 30th wedding anniversary.

My babies <3 Love them so.
That's where we are now, I'll fill in the gabs a little at a time.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

WTF...Why didn't anyone tell my how hard this was gonna be?

I absolutely despise 'empty nest'!!!! It should be getting better by now shouldn't it? I should be getting used to cooking for 2! I should be enjoying the peace and tranquility of my home! I should like that I only have to do laundry twice a week! I should like that my house stays clean, except for dog hair! I should be enjoying time with my husband! What's wrong with me? I don't enjoy ANY of that! I'd kill to have total chaos in my house once again. I'd give anything to have to drag Bre's grumpy ass outta bed or tell Dustin to pick up his dirty cloths. I thought I was starting to adjust and THEN...BAMMMM the holidays. Christmas is just not the same without the kids in the house. They did come home last week-end to decorate the tree but now I won't see them again until the 22nd, makes it seem senseless to have the house decorated at all. Dustin will only be home for a couple of days because he has to get back to work. Bre, my freshmen, the one who was supposed to come home every break for at least a couple of years...WELLLLL...She's moving into an apartment on January 1st, so I'll only have her for two weeks too...and she won't be home for the summer because the lease is for a year. Sometimes I really think that child is trying to kill me! I long for the simplier years...the ones when I KNEW that I was needed. I'm really getting sick of crying myself to sleep at night...
Will it ever get better? PLEASE lie to me and say YES!

Dustin and his girlfriend...didn't I mention that he has a girlfriend?

Bre and Ozzie - the ONLY trustworthy man in her life (other then daddy) Did I mention that she and Mr. Perfect broke
Becca - Bre - Dustin...Did I mention that I miss them?

Ozzie likes THIS tree

Bre...did I mention that she wants to be a Cow girl?

Saturday, August 25, 2007
Rain Rain Go Away!

We had our annual redneck reunion last week rained!!!! A few die hards still showed up and the in-laws (the hosts of the party) seemed to be happy anyway. As promised here are a few pictures of the big event.

Me and BOTH of my children, when did they grow up?

Bre and Dustin...gotta love his face

Hubby's sister and family
Hubby dear stuffing his face

Even with the cold rainy weather everyone that attended seemed to enjoy themselves.

Bre and Justin are away on their very first 'grown-up' week end. They are camping at Old Orchard...without They planned it themselves...paid for it themselves...and I'm sure are enjoying the freedom very much. Bre has gone to Justin's (he lives with his parents) house for the week end several times this summer but this just feels SOOOO very different to me. It's not just about her being gone it's that they are responsible for themselves...I guess it's just one more 'right of passage'...on her journey to NOT NEEDING her mommy any more. I miss being NEEDED!

Guess this is just a preview of what
life will be like after September 3,
College moving day....!

Saturday, August 18, 2007
It's REALLY Happening

We went to Bre's College Orientation yesterday, she leaves on September 3 to life 2+ hours away. I won't see her every day any more...I won't know what she's wearing...what's she's doing...who's she's with...if she's happy or sad...I am NOT liking this at all. I knew that the time would come...I always knew that my children would 'move on'....haha...They ARE supposed to...right? What I didn't know is how much I'd hate hard it would be for me. WHY DO WE PUT OURSELVES THRU THIS????????? Sometimes the cycle of life makes NO sense to me whatsoever.

Last night both of my kids were home...we lazed around watching movies and chit chatting about the past and the future...It was nice...then it hit me...THIS could be the last time that the 4 of us are together until Christmas. With both kids in school and working the likelihood of us ALL having time off together is slim...and with the kids living in opposite directions the possibilities of going to see them BOTH at the same time are slim as well. I guess that it's a good think that Lloyd and I have NO life outside the kids because we may be on the road alot the next few months.

I feel very alone at the moment, I try not to bring the kids down, especially Bre since it's all new to her, with my insecurities. My mom is dad is useless...the ONE person that i'd usually talk to about this kinda stuff, my sister Terri, deals with NEVER seeing her child again, so I don't feel comfortable talking to her about comparison it seems very insignificant. My hubby tries...but...well....hmmmmm....haha.

I know that I'm not the first person to go thru 'empty nest' syndrome and I won't be the last! I'll survivie....I always do...BUTTTTTT...I don't have to like it.

On a lighter note....The summer has been pretty good. I've spent some quality time with the kids and with Terri as well as Hubby poo. We made it to our 24th wedding anniversary...Everyone is healthy...Kids are happy... Life could be worse...

Here are a couple pics for you viewing pleasure...haha

AWWWWW, young love
Pure Happiness
Watch Out Justin....She may have a NEW man!


New Hair...AGAIN

YES...for those of you who are wondering...I DO have a son...and I DOOOOOO love him as much as Bre...however, HE HATES PICTURES (he gets it from his mother, haha).
This is proof!
We have our annual 'redneck' reunion today so I am going to TRY to get a few more pictures of him...haha.