Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Growing Pains!
I miss my babies. My children are now 19 and 16 and I am so surprised at how much I miss the younger years. I was not one of those mothers who cried when her kids went off to school...in fact I used to scoff at those who did, I knew that they would be back in my arms with excited hugs and kisses when they got off the bus. Now that they are teen agers I don't feel that same closeness with them. I think that it's normal or maybe it stems from the loss of my niece in '02, just days before her graduation (a topic for another day), whatever the reason, I am finding it very difficult to let my kids become there own "person". I still want to keep them safe and protected from the cruel worl, but they don't want me to. My son's senior year was very difficult for me, I spent the last few months and the entire summer on the verge of tears, by the time we dropped him off on campus I thought that I might just disappear into my pain. It has gotten better, however, I still miss the daily interaction with his life. My daughter started pulling away much sooner then my son, so it kind of happened at the same time...both of them pushing me away and becoming their own person. I miss Cat in the Hat, Candy Land and Goodnight Moon....I miss Sailor Suits, clip on ties and lunch boxes....I miss Ruffled dresses, Mary Jane's and pony tails...but most of all I miss their INNOCENCE.....or maybe it's mine?
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